This is not a test.
Watching Nicole Kidman makes a piece in my pants.
Something about her just makes me want to run out in the streets stare
at the moon and laugh maniacally and scream, “TOM CRUISE YOU ARE A
FUCKING IDIOT!” After this of course I would slam down a bottle of the
finest wine (That comes in the medium sized bottle, DM doesn’t stoop
to that shit wine in a box like Ghost Dog!) Now the police may pick me
up at this point for public intoxication but who in the audience really
cares if DM has a rap sheet? A redhead who can not only act but has a
body that won’t quit, and I mean I see her looking baddass until she
gets around the age of 50. Now I now you’re thinking at this point
DrunkenMaster must be pretty hammered since he hasn’t said shit about
the movie, but SOMETIMES it’s not about the movie that DM rambles. He
gets a thought in his head and he goes with it, he’s kinda like the
lower IQ drunk Einstein of his day. His hair is in shambles, doesn’t
care about his public appearance and is considered a genius. Other
members of the Pit would laugh and openly and mock DM for this thought
however being the leading contributor of the pit besides the grand and
honorable Buzz, I raise the middle finger and pass gas in their general
direction! Those of you in the know should also be aware that when
DrunkenMaster passes gas, it is something to be truly feared. It’s
worse than Iraqis Weapons of Mass Destruction! I can clear a room in
seconds with the Arial leftovers of dropping my kids off at the pool.
Needless to say this movie has it’s flaws, but DrunkenMaster does not
care as those readers of other reviews will see. DrunkenMaster cares
little for most of the Oscar winning Best Movies of the year. Most of
them he would rather take a shit on the master reel than watch. In my
mind this would be the only way to watch them……..Watch a super 8
reel of me bending over and shitting on them, Amateur filmmakers email
the pit with thoughts on this, “Shitting on Moonstruck” has a
certain ring to it.