Broken Arrow

Darth Buzz

SCORE: 5

 This film is a masterpiece of symbolic imagery. The most obvious and the main symbolic thrusts of this film are the use of the phallus imagery and latent homosexual themes. The antagonist of the film (Travolta), represents the homosexual male, the hero of the film (Slater), represents the heterosexual male. Early in the (cough--cough) BULLSHIT.... err, Excuse me. Early in the film the Master, Woo leads us to believe that it will be Slater who represents the homosexual by teasing us with a combat scene between Slater and a woman, but this later turns to a romance and it becomes obvious that it is Travolta who is the homosexual. The final scene is the best, with Travolta being penetrated with a phallic symbol (the nuke). This is an obvious allusion to the AIDS epidemic. (cough--cough) WOO SUCKS... Once again you must pardon me. It is the unfortunate stereotyping of the homosexual as the villain that lead to the rating of a 5.

Jurassic Mark

SCORE: 2 Stars

An Original Rap from Jurassic Mark

Yo Yo pimps and players out 'der. Niggasssss!!!! Know what I'm sayin'? Niggas, I been workin my flow. Peep this dawgs:

My Minstrel Flow

When I work my flow
I'm gonna get to the show
The show will stop for me
'cause I'm a Nigga see

Niggas be rolling hard
Niggas be rolling the "lack"
Niggas be the players you see
Player don't stop for jack

When that pussy calls
A pimp grows rock hard balls
Rolling in a brand new lack
I'll be your daddy mack

I'll mack down on pussy,
I'll punk on the Law,
I don't work at McDonalds
Forget what you saw

Mickey D's is for faggots
Faggots got sugar in their tanks
Don't call me a hater
Don't make me pull out my rank

Don't call me crude
Don't call me a hater
I just hate fuckin' faggots 
But I gots to eat food

Black Panther eats a Whopper
Tupak ate a bullet
I eats processed nuggets
Or whatever you call it 

I'm just workin' my flow
Tryin' to get some respect
Can't live by the Law
What you expect?

Drunken Master

SCORE: 16 Beers

The Killer launched a broken arrow at a hard target.

To JM: I do not see how a sane human being such as yourself could give this pathetic piece of shit JUST a thumbs down. This new Woo movie collaboration with Travolta and Cage must get your balls wet if this one gets JUST a thumbs down.