E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

He is afraid. He is alone. He is three million light years from home.

Darth Buzz

SCORE: 4

Look at the dumb space monkey! How this move made as much money as it did is beyond me. This film as aged very poorly. What a piece of shit.

Alternate plot sequence: ET lands on Earth. The man with the keys on his belt turns out to be Ash. Ash stomps on ET and fires a shotgun round into ET's skull, while saying "Swallow This!" A whole hoard of space monkeys flow out of the space ship, hot with rage, to avenge the death of ET. Ash kills all the space monkeys in many cool and interesting ways. Ash's woman enters. Ash grabs the woman and says, "Gimme some sugar baby." They kiss. Credits Roll.

Jurassic Mark

SCORE: 1½ Stars

Only seen it once. I tried to watch it again a few years ago--made it through ten minutes.

Drunken Master

SCORE: 24 Beers

This movie should offer a Keg party whenever it is shown. May God have mercy on the Space monkey.

Response to DB: I would personally finance this movie when I win the lottery.

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