The Mummy Returns

 

Adventure Is Reborn

 

Randolph Carter

SCORE: D

Cringe-o-meter: 6 (out of 10) There were several points in the movie when I had to look down at the floor: Titanic moments between Frazier and Weisz on the midnight balloon ride, little O'Connell trying to whip up some crocodile tears for his recently gutted mother, tender moment between mummy and boy along the Nile.

Recommended for: children under 15 and adults who rarely have a thought pass through their brain.

Strengths: special effects, Patricia Velazquez.

Weaknesses: plot, character development, precocious, non-acting, Anakin Skywalker-looking boy, The Rock as the Scorpion King.

Why did the mummy return? I for one wish he hadn't. This happens to be one painful movie to watch. We actually see the mummy cry, if you can believe that. Apparently the mummy returns to loose his powers, mess up a child's hair in one of those tender moments, and get teary-eyed hanging for dear life on the brink of hell as his he watches his beloved abandon him. Sounds pretty scary doesn't it? Not to mention we get to catch a glimpse into the happy home life of Rick (Brendan Frazier) and Evelyn O'Connell (Rachel Weisz) and see how much they truly love each other. Although the special effects were at times interesting, they were primarily just rehash from the first film and could do nothing to disguise the wafer thin plot. No new territory covered here. Don't bother with this one. You'd be better off watching Raiders of the Lost Ark for the 50th time.


Darth Buzz

SCORE: 7


Randolph, I AM that adult who rarely has a thought pass through my brain. What's your problem? This movie was great.  "Weaknesses: ... The Rock as the Scorpion King."  I have to call bullshit on this one and you know it.  I don't think he had a real line in the whole movie.  He was an action caricature that has a whopping 10 minutes screen time and most of that is jazzed up with CGI.

It's more of the same just MUCH MORE. Can you say over the top? Undead pigmies, rocket balloons, Patricia Velazquez, Rachel Weisz, and MORE. This is one goofy over the top serial action flick.

If your a true action connoisseur, that isn't too concerned for any kind of realism, (Sais in Egypt!?! Rocket balloon!?!) then by all means see this flick. I laughed my ass off more than a handful of times just because of the ridiculous nature of this movie. This is high caliber crap, and I loved it.


Drunken Master

SCORE: ? Beers

      ?  ?  ?

Now I watched the original a couple of days ago, and I thought Rachel Weisz or whatever her name is, looked incredibly average. Yet I see this flick and think, what an incredible babe she is. In my drunken state, I at this point think it is the mascara. They tried to hard in the original to make her eyes dark. But however after watching the DVD I still enjoyed just about every performance in the movie. Even "The Rock" was somewhat entertaining. However the previews of "The Skorpian King" made his role in this flick seem like SPAM in comparison. I'm not saying he can act, but he's definitely got the stunt shit down.  (Editors Note:  LOL!  "Skorpian King"?!?!  That is fucking funny!  As the editor of Movie Pit it is my job to fix such things, but I felt for comedic value I had to leave it in.)


Darth Buzz

Response to Drunken Master

Dude you are drunk.  The real difference between Weisz in the first and second movies is that in The Mummy she wore glasses.  In the Mummy Returns she ditched the glasses and wears a push-up bra to better display her assets.  I'm all for it of course.