Star Trek: Nemesis

 

A Generation's Final Journey... Begins

 

 

Darth Buzz

SCORE: 6 (changed -1 after a rewatch)

Well, this is the 10th Star Trek movie and hopefully the last. I wonít give any big spoilers away but at the end of this film I was thinking that they need to lay this thing to rest. This is from the guy that has all of the old series, all of the Next Gen. episodes, and all of the movies on DVD. Itís not that Nemesis was that bad (yes maybe it was) it just that itís time for the Next Gen. crew and Star Trek in general to lay it to rest. There are only so many recycled stories we can watch.  Star Trek has been run into the ground.

Bad Things about Nemesis:

Picard, Data, and Worf driving around like a bat out of hell in a Federation SUV thing. This just doesnít fit in a Star Trek movie/episode. What the hell were they thinking?

B-4 = BAD. Is there anything better than a retarded android?

Worf drunk/hung over is out of character and goofy.

Psychic Rape. It was done in the episodes and it sucked there too.

Good Things about Nemesis:

Some of the best space battle scenes in Star Trek history. Not to mention just a lot of action in general. Itís a good thing.

Good ending except the appearance of B-4, who should have been loaded into a photon torpedo tube and launched. (Better yet he shouldnít have been in the movie.)

Did Marina Sirtis get a boob job? They were two good things about Nemesis.

I liked the villain, Shinzon. If Picard were evil, that would be it. Well done.

Finally, I want to know who thought it was a good idea to get Stuart Baird to direct a Star Trek movie, or any kind of movie for that matter. Previous directing credits include U.S. Marshals and Executive Decision. Their best bet would have been to go for Nicholas Meyer again. He has yet to screw up a Star Trek film. That would have been better than Mr. Executive Marshals.


Drunken Master

SCORE:  16Beers
 
The Grandiose Finger

SPOILER ALERT: (I warned you mother fuckers)


The Romulens (Whoever I could be wrong) Have cloned Picard. (Kinda like a sheep before it develops arthritis and we put it down for "humane reasons") However during the cloning process the Romulans have put a accelerated aging process that if not ignited at the right time will kill the clone. Politics.....oh those crazy politicians......Well it seems they decided not to use their plan to replace Picard with their clone so the process of the accelerated aging process was not begun. Thus the CLONE WILL DIE! Being a good clone and not wanting to die, he usurps the foolish politicians of the Romulus or whatever. Belch. Thus begins the CRUX of our flick, we learn that the only way the clone can now survive is to take DNA or whatever from what he was clone from (Picard) and replace it in his own body. During this time previously of course he developed a weapon of mass Destruction! Just like Iraq! Well his "Political" plan was to negotiate a new peace with the federation since he's the new ruler and all. Well lo an behold! The Closest ship to the "Neutral zone" Is the only ship whose carrying the only man who can continue the clones life. Isn't this just plot convenient? You know....Fuck I'm drunk and I don't even want to continue to ruin the rest of this movie. It just sucks ass. The only reason I don't just give this fuckwad a full 24 beers. Is it's sci-fi, star trek, space orientated, and has Dina Meyer in it. (IF I wasn't married, I'd propose to her.)