|
|
|
Justice Is Coming
Drunken
Master
SCORE: 4  Beers
Here at Movie Pit I have been told that my reviews have gotten stale, warmed over, used,
tasteless, ramblings of a drunken idiot. I take offense at all of that except the drunken idiot. I would let the entire staff at
Movie Pit bring forth their offenses, but I really am drunk enough that I don't give a shaite. I watch movies and then review them while drunk, if my sparsely spoken reviews offend thee, well then maybe I should be referred to as RC jr. But I digress.
Point number 1 taken:
The Cast:
A tad of who's who:
Billy Zane (Sniper), Jon Tenney, Michael Rooker (Cliffhanger), Jason
Priestly (Calendar Girl), Bill Paxton (What else has he been in, Near Dark) Joanna Pacula, Sam (RoadHouse) Elliot, Dana
(TV) Delany (She ain't a crossdresser), Powers Boothe (No Introduction) Michael Biehn (Right up there with Christopher Lambert as shitty character actor) VAL KILMER (GOD), and the
nemesis of Jurassic Mark, Kurt Russell. This doesn't include all the minor
characters lead by the LORD GOD Billy BOB Thorton.
Point number 2....you must take:
This movie is a fucking juggernaut of talent, story, and welll......fuck...kick butt shootin'. If there are enough of you ass
monkeys out there that remember "Six Gun Shoutout" then this movie might mean something of something to you.
The basic theme is this, Retired Law dogs, roll up into Tombstone to the Dallas Cowgirls who say, "LAW DON'T GO ROUND HERE" Michael Irvin snorts some Anthrax infected powder, ends up being cocaine........Law Dogs start sniffing asses, smell stinky shit and skin that smokewagon and get to work. Now let me be the first to tell you that the leader of the anti Kurt Russel gang will be the first to jump on my ass (JM). So let me be the first of DM's gang to say "Bite my hairy fat
ass" (I'm 6'1 170lbs, not exactly fat) I could list the movies of Kurt's that are hated by said gang, but I don't do gang warfare........I'm a
political advocate.
Ramble on Ramble on.
 Jurassic
Mark
Response to DM.
Brevity brother....brevity. I did, however, find the Michael Irvin reference interesting.
 Darth
Buzz
Another response to
DM.
Short... long... it's all good as long as it's the TRUE
Drunken Master. The more shitfaced the betta'. |
